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This one’s long. Are ya ready?

Ok, so while I AM known for having difficult pregnancies, IE: 4 kiddies out of 8 pregnancies, my deliveries just got easier and easier as each one was born. Our 3rd child, Callie, pretty much jumped out of the womb and into the Dr’s arms! 30 minutes of active labor and BAM, she was out!

For some strange reason, I seem to have a major phobia of all things medical. So back in June, when told our daughter was breech and I’d require a c-c-c-section..(someone hit the panic button!)…. I was like, ‘Come again?. Me. Crystal. You’re talking to the voices in your head, right? Oh please tell me you’re joking???”. But,alas they weren’t joking. She was breech and if she hadn’t turned by June 18th, they would do a scheduled c-section. I did see a glorious ray of light though when Dr. Dreamy said he could try to turn her first…(queue melodic angels here -  LAAAAA) Ok, now you’re talking! We’ll turn her and she’ll pop right out and then all will be right with my world again.  mmm hmmm.

On June 18th, bright and early in the morning, we strolled into the hospital with the entire family in tow. Me, Hubby, our 3 kiddies, Hubby’s mom and step-dad and Hubby’s Dad and step-mom. (are you confused yet? lol)  I wasn’t having any labor pains although I was dilated 3 cm. and 50% effaced. The nurse gave me my gown and IV stuff and a shot to relax my uterus to stave off contractions once they tried to turn her. Dr. Dreamy came in and did a quick ultra-sound to see if she was still breech. YUP! Still breech. With the ultrasound thing-a-ma-jig (tech term) placed on my belly with one hand and his ENTIRE forearm embedded in the top of my guts abdomen, the Dr. began to push and knead my stomach, pushing on the babys back to get her to turn. She started turning! She was about halfway…. YES!…… NO! I swear it felt like a giant elastic band literally yanked her back into place!!!! No joke. (I’ll explain later) It scared the b’jeebies out of me!

Dr. Dreamy immediately handed the nurse the ultrasound thing-a-ma-jig, looked me directly in the eye and said “C-Section!” Well alrighty then! Dr. Dreamy then had prayer with us for the surgery, which was tremendously needed and appreciated. He is such an awesome OB and surgeon. We love that guy!

A couple more nurses came in and did some… umm…. prep work. We don’t need many details. Lets just say it involved a  lawn mower razor, ’cause evidently, bikini cut c-sections mean just that! WOW!  Hubby got a spiffy pair of paper scrubs. (WOO HOO he looked right cute if I do say so myself!  Hubby McHotty!!!)

Then the nurse made me get up and crawl walk to the O.R. It’s not like I now felt like my insides were falling out or anything. Hello! So I get in there and the anesthesiologist asked if I could sit in indian-style. Sure, why not? lol. So I flopped my big butt climbed onto the operating table and sat in indian-style.  She then gave me a pillow and told me to lean forward but as straight as I possibly could. Ok, I’m an overweight pregnant chick who just got forearmed in the gut by Dr. Dreamy but hey, sure , I can site perfectly straight… only leaned over… and not move. And did I mention how bad I had to tinkle????? Nurse explained that I could wait until she numbed me and put the catheter in. Okey dokey, it’s your mess to clean. :0) So, after numbing me a little, the anesthesiologist says to “Hold very still. I’m going to go deeper with this one”. Ok, no biggie, I’m fine……………OUCH!!!!!!!!! I just about jumped off the table! Don’t know what was touched inside my spine but it hurt like @#%&! She says “OH my, let me numb you some more!” Ya think? She really was super-duper nice though and I could tell she honestly thought I should have been numb enough.  So she numbed me more, then the nurse said to get ready to lay straight back, only I couldn’t seem to lay myself down so they grabbed my shoulders and laid me back. PHEW! Glad that was done! I never said a word, I’m a good girl and did exactly what they told me to although it would have been so easy to be pregnant and vocal. Just sayin’

The actual c-section was a breeze. Seriously, Dr. Dreamy had already started and I hadn’t even realized he was in the room.  He’s a good feller, that one. hehehe On the ceiling were hook-ups for oxygen and such and I remember thinking to myself that as long as I could still see them clearly and read the labels, then I was ok. So I tried to stay focused on those and what the Dr. and nurses would say to me or ask me. Before I knew it, my beautiful baby girl was crying for the first time. What to know why she was breech for the last 6 or so weeks of my pregnancy? She had apparently tried to jump rope with the umbilical cord and it was completely snaked around her! Don’t know why the high-risk OB I was alternately seeing for ultrasounds hadn’t noticed or mentioned that to Dr. Dreamy, but ok. We were so lucky she HADN’T turned! They cleaned her up, wrapped her in a blanket and hat, gave me a quick glimpse and then Hubby went with her to the nursery until I could snuggle her and give her lot’s of smoochies. So as far as the surgery went,  I was so freaked out for a week for that? The surgery was so quick and the anesthesiologist stayed right with me the entire time asking if I was ok.It was actually a breeze!

I would like to add, again, that I am actually a super good patient and never ever complain to my nurses because I know how hard they work but when pregnant and scared to death, I might get a little snarky… in my head… never out loud :0) (The girl in the next room was a moaner and screamer… somebody seriously needed a tranquilizer an epidural)

After going to recovery for awhile, then to my room to un-numb, which seemed to take forever, came the task of torture standing up for the first time. Ohhh, now I get it. The surgery was so easy because what comes afterwards is pain x’s 10…. thousand! Pain meds please! I never took pain meds with the natural deliveries but oh boy I sure did this time! I can’t explain it. I was so sore and it lasted for weeks and weeks! My incision outside healed up very quickly but the inside incision still, 5 months later gets very tender. I suppose it will always be that way.

Anyway, my baby is here, growing like a weed and is as beautiful as can be. And if they hadn’t done the c-section….. I don’t want to think about it. Thank God for Dr. Dreamy! And thank God for my beautiful family!!!!